Ranking all of Bob’s Burgers Halloween Episodes!

Welcome to the first of my daily October posts! Starting off strong with our mini series, Cozy Autumn Week!! Throughout these next 31-days, I will be posting different spooky fun facts, tricks and treats. We’re getting started by talking about my favourite show, Bob’s Burgers (2011)! They recently hit their 300th episode, congratulations to Loren Bouchard as well as the rest of the cast and crew! They have so much to show for these past (nearly) 15-years. I wanted to rank my favorite comfor—I mean Halloween episodes of the show to kick us off! 

Bob’s Burgers hit its sixteenth season this past week, premiering on Fox on the 28th of September. As the Halloween episode for this season—if there is going to be one, hasn’t been released yet, I am only going to rank the 13 episodes available to the public. You may be wondering why only 13 episodes will be ranked when there are 16 seasons? This is because the first Halloween episode was not included in the show until the 3rd season. If you would like to watch the show, you can find it on Fox, Hulu, and Disney+. If you do check it out, send me a message! I need more friends who watch it 😭

A small warning before we start: this post will be full of personal opinions and spoilers! It was not made out of hate or to upset any fans. It’s also not an accurate ranking to how you may feel, just how I do. Enjoy!

13. In our thirteenth spot is “Pig Trouble in Little Tina” (Season 10, Episode 4). I would like to say that it brings me much sadness to say that this is in the thirteenth spot, however, I actually really do not enjoy this episode. I would say that this is probably my least favorite episode out of the entire show. I have never been able to stomach animal dissections even when I myself was in science class. 😂 This episode follows Tina in science class as they have to dissect a pig, and her pig is unconventionally attractive compared to the other pigs. In order to fit in, Tina makes jokes at the pig’s expense to make her peers laugh. After making the other students laugh, they invite her to join them on a haunted hayride. Tina is plagued with nightmares about this pig. As he corrupts her mind, she becomes jumpy and paranoid. This episode gets a little confusing because you have moments where Tina is dreaming and others where she’s awake, but we don’t always know when. There’s this whole part where she buries the pig alive and the pig is begging for its life, but then there’s other parts when the pig is a magical creature fighting her. It’s just a bit too much for me.

12. Next up, in our twelfth spot is “Fort Night” (Season 4, Episode 2). This episode is pretty strange if I’m honest. This is the episode where we meet Millie for the first time and if you know anything about Bob’s Burgers, then you know that Millie is not forced to be reckoned with. Millie is a rather strange girl from Louise’s class who is completely obsessed with her. Her room is the same as Louise’s, she has all the same interests as Louise, and they even have the same backpack. Now Louise is a little troublemaker if you well, but Millie is actually crazy. On this Halloween, Louise and her friends go to a fort that the Belcher kids had built in the alley near their parents' restaurant. When showing everyone around, Millie, as an uninvited guest, arrives outside of the Fort and asks if she could come up and play with them. However, Louise tells her that they’re at capacity. Then, Millie asks if instead Louise could go trick-or-treating with her, and they could wear matching costume costumes. Louise gets rid of Millie, but not very long after she left, a truck pulled up and trapped all of the kids inside of the fort. Eventually, Millie comes back and finds the group trapped. Millie and Louise get into an argument where Louise calls Millie crazy. This prompts Millie to leave the group in the fort overnight. All the while, at home, Bob and Linda are making a joint Halloween costume for their three kids. Eventually, when they don’t come home for the costume, they go out looking for Tina, Gene and Louise. When looking for the kids, they run into Millie who claims that she saw the three trick-or-treating. Bob and Linda, annoyed that their kids did not come home for their Halloween costume, ended up going trick-or-treating in the kids in the costume themselves. Eventually, after a few betrayals and arguments within the fort, the kids are able to get out just before the truck crushes the fort. The episode ends later that night with the kids tricking Millie—who found the crushed fort, by pretending to be ghosts of their former selves. Millie runs off, dropping her candy and the kids steal it. I put this in twelfth because although it is a pretty fun episode, I do find Millie‘s antics very strange and uncomfortable to experience. 😂

11. Our eleventh spot is “The Wolf on Wharf Street” (Season 8, Episode 3). This episode was rather hard to place as I genuinely enjoy this episode—as I do most of Bob’s Burgers episodes! 😂 However, there are too many good episodes that just had to go above this one. This episode focuses on two separate stories. The first story follows Bob and Teddy as Bob had received an injury and hurt his leg. The other half of the story follows Linda and the kids as they go out, searching for a wolf. To start off the episode, Teddy comes over to help take care of Bob as he can barely walk due to his injury. While Teddy is taking care of Bob, Bob notices a mark on Teddy’s arm that looks like a bite. Teddy lies and says that it’s not a bite. Bob, being rather paranoid due to his pain medication, believed that Teddy was a werewolf. Therefore, Bob decided to handcuff Teddy to the coffee table with Linda’s police costume’s handcuffs. He then fell down the stairs and left the apartment. During this time, Linda had taken the kids out to trick-or-treat. However, there is a wild wolf on the loose as well as an alpaca from Wonder Wharf’s petting zoo. The news had told the city that no one would be out trick-or-treating so the kids did not receive any candy as no one had thought people would actually go out. Not wanting to be misinterpreted as a boring mom, Linda suggested that the group go and search for the wolf. Eventually, they came across a wrestling in the bushes, but found it to be the alpaca and not the wolf. Next thing you know, we find Bob in a kid’s park as a wolf approaches from the side growling at him. Bob believes this is Teddy as a werewolf. However, the Fischoeders arrive and take the wolf with them—apparently it belonged to Felix. Eventually, Teddy finds Bob and admits that he bit his own arm in his sleep. No one believed Bob’s story of an actual wolf being on the loose and thought that he was just seeing things because he was on painkillers. 

10. Into our top ten, starting off with “Tina and the Real Ghost” (Season 5, Episode 2)! This was probably the hardest episode for me to place as this is actually my favorite Halloween episode. However, I find the most comfort watching this episode as I think it’s pretty sweet and silly, but I know that it is not the most Halloween-ish episode of the series. It follows Tina as she begins a relationship with Jeff—a ghost in a shoebox they discovered whilst conducting a seance. She brings Jeff to school where a jealous girl named Tammy steals the box and tells everyone that Jeff had actually asked her out and broke up with Tina—she did this by writing on the bathroom mirror, but said that Jeff had. Louise is skeptical as she had actually made Jeff up. When Tina heard that it was all a prank by her little sister, she decided to prank them back. The kids were all meant to go to the cemetery and break into the mausoleum. Tina had arrived early and wrote on the wall that Jeff had trapped them in blood—it was actually ketchup. She also pretended that the door was locked to trick them before revealing that Tammy and Louise had both lied. I should also mention that Louise had tried to get back at Tammy by putting a bunch of bugs in Jeff’s box, but Tammy dropped it causing everyone to be swarmed together. I find this episode sweet because it shows a lot of humility and respect between the siblings. There are also some pretty funny paranormal investigators present. You’ll just have to watch it to get it and I most definitely recommend it!

9. Our ninth spot goes to “The Pumpkinening” (Season 12, Episode 3). This episode follows Linda and Gayle as they return to their high school—and their past. A letter is sent out to the two revealing that the sender knew that they had smashed the pumpkins from the pumpkin contest back in high school. The two return home to investigate who knew that it was where they run into both “Scary Terry” and their high school principal. Eventually, it is discovered that it was actually Gayle’s life coach and therapist to put this whole thing together. We also discover that Linda smashed her own pumpkin because she heard that she would win the contest and didn’t want to hurt Gayle’s feelings. Gayle, finding Linda back then by the pumpkins, accidentally tripped and smashed a few other pumpkins. They both decided to just smash all of the pumpkins to make it look like certain pumpkins weren’t targeted. On the other side of the episode, we have Bob purchasing the top new candy of the year for the trick-or-treaters—he isn’t good at buying candy, it’s a whole thing. It follows the kids as they wait for the end of the night to see if they will get any of this special candy, however, it is all run out by the end. I found this part a bit boring, but I also get annoyed with some of the kids as some of the trick-or-treaters are just rude. In the end, Bob had saved three packets of the candy for his kids. It’s an all right episode, it’s just not my favorite. It’s not my least favorite either. I enjoy Gayle and Linda’s side of the episode more. 

8. In eighth, we have “Fraud of the Dead: Zombie-docu-pocalypse” (Season 14, Episode 9). This episode is a fake documentary the kids made pretending that Louise is actually a famous archer, but can’t actually shoot with her arms because she isn’t strong enough. The episode follows them as their friends are turned into zombies. Louise eventually discovers that the zombies will die if they get shot with mustard. She also discovers that she can shoot with her bow and arrow as long as it’s with her legs. It’s a very creative and fun episode to watch!

7. In seventh, “Apple Gore-Chard! (But Not Gory)” (Season 13, Episode 6). This is a good episode, definitely not in the top five and I’ll get into that. I enjoy this episode because it is filled with autumn-vibes if you will. 😂 This is yet another episode where there’s two separate stories going on at once. Bob and Louise are on a class field trip to a historical immersive experience at an apple orchard while Tina and Gene are at school waiting for the costume parade. While at the apple orchard, Louise is chosen to be the hero of the harvest. After she’s chosen, her and her friend Jessica—who’s dressed as Billy Idol-ish (none of the kids get it), sneak off to a barn where they see hay so that they can jump off the top of the barn into it—you know, as we all would! 😂 While in the barn, they find a drawing of someone wearing the same corn on the cob necklace that Louise was given as the hero of the harvest being burned at the stake. Louise freaks out and tells Bob, who tells her to stay behind Miss. LaBonz as she would keep them safe—best line in the episode. 🤣 Eventually, after being found, they find out that the hero of the harvest burning at the stake scene is actually from a horror hayride that they do for adults and teens at night, and not what they do during the show at the apple orchard. Unfortunately, they missed a bee showing that Bob wanted to see because they had to get back in order for Louise to join her siblings in their group costume for the costume parade. Louise was stressed as Helen Hunt, while Gene and Tina made up the twister. Tina was the twister itself, and Gene was the flying animals and cars—Linda called this a creative choice. On Tina and Gene’s side of the story, their costumes were falling apart all day long and Linda had to go to the school and fix their costumes more than once. Bob and Louise barely make it to the costume parade on time and run in just as “Belcher” is being called to show their costume. The episode ends with Linda asking if they’d rather go as something else for trick-or-treating because their group costume is such a hassle, but the kids say that they love it and want to stay as Twister (1996). Ultimately, it’s a fun and cute episode however it’s not the right type of Halloween/trick-or-treating vibe that I would go for in the top five.

6. Narrowly missing the top five, in our sixth spot “Heartbreak Hotel-Oween” (Season 11, Episode 4). This episode did not make it to the top five for one specific reason and that is the blood bank. I don’t enjoy blood banks nor do I enjoy getting my blood drawn. It actually quite frightens me so I do not enjoy watching this episode for the most part. The episode follows Bob, Linda, and Teddy as they go to donate to a vampiric bloodmobile as Bob has the universal donor blood type—O-. Bob ends up being left alone in the bloodmobile as his blood is drawn and passes out. He falls to the ground and makes the bloodmobile look “like a crime scene” (Lina). As for the kids, they are going in a group costume to trick-or-treat yet again—as a giant snail this time. Louise was upset that she had been shorted a piece of candy two years prior. The family that shorted her the candy promised that they would give her extra the following year, but the following year they did not remember—causing Louise to look greedy. That year she decided that she would steal their entire candy bowl because it’s what they owed her. Therefore, she’s hiding in the snail costume. Before they could leave, they had to deliver a burger to a hotel room from their parents' restaurant. When the kids arrive at the hotel room, they see a creepy woman doing a séance of sorts and they drop her burger and run. Come to find out, the kids accidentally dropped the snail head when they were in the woman’s room and had to go back for it. Once in there, they find out that the lady was actually simply trying to get back at her ex-boyfriend who had died in that hotel on Halloween many years before. She goes to the hotel room every year with a burger— it was his favorite food, to talk to him and curse him as he was sneaking around with a woman at the Halloween party. In fact, quite a few people come to see her do this each year. The kids stay only to find a picture of the woman he was sneaking around with and find out that it was actually a man in a woman’s costume. The man turned out to be a doctor who had realized that her boyfriend was suffering from an allergic reaction, but it was too late to save him. This caused the old woman to forgive her ex, and Louise to forgive the family who shorted her on candy as well. Not my favorite episode, but it was an enjoyable watch nonetheless.

5. Starting off our top five strong, we have “For Whom the Doll Toes” (Season 15, Episode 4) is in fifth! This is the most creative Halloween episode I have ever seen in any animated TV show. It is a phenomenal episode filled with mystery and doll houses. It also touches on tough subjects about what it means to be left out as a kid and whether or not that’s a good thing, depending on the circumstances of the context. The episode follows the kids as Gene was not invited to a Halloween get-together with his group of friends and he doesn’t know why he was the only one left out. However, Louise seems to be harboring a secret. While the family was out, the kids came across a creepy dollhouse store, and inside was Gene’s favorite substitute teacher, Miss. Bisselbender, whose family owned the store. Louise is shocked to see her there—as is Miss Bisselbender. The two seemed to be harboring the same secret. Instead of telling Gene what the secret was, the two decide to put on a mystery dollhouse whodonit in the store. All of the family is present, and throughout the mystery, Gene is skeptical as to why the phrase “camel toe” keeps coming up. We find out (eventually) that Gene was not invited to the Halloween get together with his friends because he told his friends that it was not okay for them to laugh at Miss. Bisselbender’s camel toe, and that it was completely normal. Instead of Louise telling Gene that she had overheard the boys deciding not to invite him in the library, she decided to go through the mystery doll system. I enjoy this episode because it is filled with so much craziness, but also a lot of love between siblings and family.

4. In fourth, “Teen-a-Witch” (Season 7, Episode 3). I would say this has to be one of my favorite Halloween episodes in Bob’s Burgers, if not the entire series! This episode follows Tina as she discovers that Mr. Ambrose—the librarian is a witch and so is Jackie—the crossing guard. Tina decides that she wants to be a witch so that she can cast a spell to win the costume contest at her school. She begins practicing spells that conveniently work out. Tina gains confidence and security within this position. That is until Jackie curses her for being rude to her. This sets off a chain reaction of paranoia within Tina as she fears that she will no longer win the costume contest. Tina dressed up as a sand-witch for the contest, but no one seems to get it as she walks down the stage, nearly falling over and yelling out her paranoid fears of Jackie’s curse. In the end, they realize that Tina was not a witch, and that the so-called “spells” she was casting were actually just pleasant coincidences. Rudy wins the costume contest as a mime and Jackie forgives Tina—uncurses her as well. On the other side of the episode, we have Bob investigating who keeps stealing his burger-carved pumpkins. At the end of the episode, it is revealed that Mr. Fischoeder thought Bob was leaving them for him and he had made a sort of pumpkin metropolis for them. Mr. Fischoeder then charges Bob and Linda to take photos of their kids next to Bob’s pumpkins. It’s just a fun episode to watch all around and I do enjoy Tina’s goth phase. 😂

3. Stepping into our top three, we have “Full Bars” (Season 3, Episode 2) in third! Full Bars is the very first Bob’s Burgers holiday episode. The episode follows the kids as they get to go trick-or-treating for the first time without either of their parents. Since their town's trick-or-treating candy leaves something to be desired, they take the ferry to Kings Head Island, where all the rich families live. There, they come across a few kids that go trick-or-treating with them. They all get full bars at every house. However, they discovered that there is a tradition at Kings Head Island where the teenagers harass and even throw pee balloons at kids that are trick-or-treating—they call it ”hell hunt”. The kids end up getting chased by some teenagers and try to leave on the ferry. However, they decide not to leave their new friends behind and go and save the day! During this, unfortunately, Gene loses his back of candy while tricking the teenagers. Meanwhile, their parents are attending Teddy’s Halloween party, where Bob arrives without a costume. Teddy calls it a party violation and has him wear a fat suit for the party. While Bob spa was putting on the fat suit, he accidentally squished Teddy’s guinea pig, Francis, to death. Teddy finds her corpse and goes around questioning each person to see who killed her. Eventually, it comes out that Bob squished her but also that Teddy had spray painted her to match his tiger costume. The fumes actually killed her. It’s a pretty wacky episode, but I think it deserves to be in the top three because it is iconic and hilarious—except for poor Francis.

2. The difficult part of ranking is always deciding who is in first place. The episode barely missed becoming #1 if it wasn’t for one very important thing—Teddy. Therefore, in second we have “The Hauntening” (Season 6, Episode 3)! The Haunting is a fun episode following the family as they try to make a haunted house that would scare Louise as she has never been scared before. The parents tricked the kids with a fake haunted house that was extremely bad. They did this so that Mort, his mom, and her boyfriend could infiltrate the haunted house. Louise believes that they’re actually being attacked by serial killers attempting to break in. This is one of the episodes of Bob’s Burgers that I would say you need to watch for yourself to understand everything going on in it. Anyway, in the end, Louise gets scared and the family takes a photo of her screaming in terror. It’s a cute family episode that focuses heavily on autumn vibes and childhood Halloween memories. I definitely had a hard time placing this in second however, you’ll understand why it is once I describe the next episode.

1. I would like to say congratulations to our very first spot—“Nightmare on Ocean Avenue Street” (Season 9, Episode 4)!! This is undeniably the best Halloween episode of Bob’s Burgers. Not only does it follow the kids trick-or-treating, but it actually covers them trick-or-treating with their friends that we see consistently throughout the show at school. The kids discover that a teenager—or multiple teenagers is stealing all of the middle schoolers candy and running off with it. The kids end up chasing down this thief only to find out that it’s their dentist, Dr. Yap. He says that he’s tired of kids ignoring his letters where he will trade them cash for their candy—$1 per pound of candy. However, the kids all agreed that it was a terrible deal. Dr. Yap said his reasoning for it was sticky sugar booms—a new candy on the market that rots kids teeth. The kids get their, and everyone else’s candy back, then they distribute it throughout the town. It’s a rather silly episode, which is exactly what makes it so fun. However, the real reason why it’s a winning episode is not only the kids, but also Teddy’s involvement. Teddy discovers that the store next to Bob’s Burgers has hired a handyman that he is at odds with—Glenn. Teddy asks Bob if he can decorate the restaurant for Halloween even though it’s already late in the afternoon on October 31st. Throughout the episode, you have Teddy and Glenn battling each other on who has the better decorations. A spider with chainsaws on its arms is even involved!! Eventually, we discover that Glenn and Teddy actually admire one another’s work. It is such a fun episode all around and I definitely recommend watching it this season!

Thank you for reading and make sure to come back to see tomorrow's post!

Sincerely, 

your 21st century poet <3